black women

for colored girls who considered yaky

poet kush thompson sings a black girl’s song.

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five signs it’s time to walk away

i fell apart manytimes.sowhat does that sayabout mebesides i live through wars. (1)

we’ve all been there. trapped in life/work/relationship/financial woes that make it difficult to get out of bed each morning — our lives feel like they’re not our own.  instead of chucking the deuces to painful experiences, we allow insecurities, financial needs or other challenges to convince us to sit front row at the “my life is a hot ass mess convention.”

we start to listen to the voice in the back of our heads telling us that we don’t deserve happiness:

healthy relationships are made for tv.

emotional well being is a myth made up by white housewives who wear $90 yoga pants and drink pumpkin lattes.

don’t believe the hype — happiness and emotional well being are real. but here’s the hard truth: if we want to experience them, we gotta get rid of the shit that weighs us down.Fly Final

for years, i was convinced that my toxic relationships would get better. i made excuses for myself and my past partners’ actions to legitimize the pain and drama that had become a part of my daily life.

i know it sounds like a scene from mary j.blige’s “not gon’ cry” video, but one day i literally looked in the mirror and said no more. i wanted to be proud of myself. i wanted my little sisters to know there’s nothing they can’t overcome, no situation they can’t rise above.

if you’re like me, then agonizing over whether it’s time to quit your job, create boundaries with loved ones or end a romantic relationship is the worst part. i’m no therapist, but here are five signs that prompted me to stretch, lace up my nikes and run towards a better life:

  1. you keep asking yourself whether it’s time to go. intuition is God’s voice speaking to us. if you’re constantly asking whether your current experience is right for your life, then guess what — i’d bet money it’s not right for your life. you know what happiness and fulfillment look like; trust yourself.
  2. you can’t remember the last time you enjoyed the experience. any experience that feeds our spirits should instantly prompt positive memories or thoughts. stop and think about your current struggle. if you have to force yourself to think of something positive, then it might be time to go.
  3. everybody from your therapist to your mama to the old lady on the bus knows how much pain you’re in. ever broke down and cried when an acquaintance asked how your day was going? i have. when your pain becomes the topic of every discussion (including nonverbal cues), then it’s consuming your well being.  feeling the need to constantly unload your painful experiences on others is a key sign that your emotional burden is too much to bear.
  4. you’re losing sleep. sleep is essential to our physical and mental health. if stress and anxiety are keeping you up at night, then your current struggle is winning twice. not only is your day consumed by pain, but it’s hijacking your rest too. sleep should be like the hope diamond — priceless.
  5. you spend more time shadow boxing than focusing on reality. are you cursing your boss out while watching tv? planning your next argument with bae while folding clothes? if so, your subconscious is desperately trying to gain control over something that’s left you unsettled. while brooding over negative encounters can make us feel more powerful in the moment, shadow boxing only anticipates more negativity. you can chose a different outcome.

i’m sending love and positive vibes to folks facing emotional hardships. while your burden may be heavy today, remember we have the power to live through wars.

join november’s sister circle

inhale. exhale. cleanse.

join sister’s circle dc for our monthly meet up at calabash tea & tonic. sihnuu hetep is leading a yoga class that you don’t want to miss.

november 21 // 9:30 am // 1847 7th street nw, wdc // $10

pic via black girl in om

local love: spice suite

 

i’m 19 days into my whole 30 cleanse (but who’s counting), and food has never tasted this good. eating only protein, fruit and vegetables has called for creative recipes — so i was beyond excited when mariama of brownbelle recommended we meet up at the spice suite in takoma park.

DSC_6616nestled on a short strip of local businesses, the spice suite is owned and operated by chef angel anderson. glass jars of internationally-sourced spices line the wall, boasting unique flavors like mesquite salt and raspberry sugar.

aside from selling spices and soups, the ambiance is delightful. it’s the kind of place that makes you want to post up with a good book, sip angel’s strawberry basil lemonade and chill on a quiet saturday afternoon. it’s like a black-owned cheers with a cozy, bohemian vibe. DSC_6622

not only is my pantry grateful for some new flavors, but i’m ecstatic to have finally met my blogger boo mariama! her lifestyle blog is a must read for food, interior design and style inspiration. she’s even lovelier in person, and i can’t wait to create magic together.

if you’re like me and think you’re doing something fancy by using trader joe’s sea salt, then it’s time you stopped by spice suite to get your life. nervous about delving into spices like saffron without a tutorial? no worries, angel’s hosting a sip ‘n spice on november 22nd to sip, chat and learn all about introducing new flavors into your cooking routine.

 

5 reasons black girls have no rights police are bound to respect

my heart is breaking. watching the video of the child assaulted by a school resource officer in columbia, south carolina is a reminder that our examination of the school-to-prison pipeline can’t miss the forest for the trees.  discriminatory systems are upheld by individual actors with racist and sexist beliefs — it’s the teachers, administrators and school resource officers who enforce policies that traumatize and brutalize our kids.

in response to the viral video of the teenager’s assault, law professor kimberlé crenshaw tweeted “black girls have no rights police are bound to respect.  are we clear?” yes, professor crenshaw, that message is loud and clear. here are five facts that support this painful truth:

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